Tonight as I was sitting in the sauna at the gym, I was praying and listening for God [something I haven't done too much of lately]. After meeting with our small group leaders I've really been seeking God for answers. Then I heard it.
Temporary.
It's something I've told myself MANY times in the past, well, year. These trials are only temporary.
Financial struggles are temporary.
Uncertainty is temporary.
But this time there was an extraordinary peace with it. I felt peace that if I didn't get any of these higher paying jobs I've applied for, that it was going to be okay, because me having to work like this is only temporary. Rob is going to be able to work soon and provide for us.
Temporary is definitely a word from God that I need to cling to. There's no explaining the kind of peace I felt tonight.
And friends, I welcome your accountability and godly reminders of this word if I start to let go of my focus.
God speaks in the saunas, in the fires and hard times that we go through.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Prayer
Last night we had dinner with the couple that leads our small group from church. I am so thankful that God placed us in this group, and that we have leaders who pray, seek God fervently, and speak into our lives. Our conversation brought on a tidal wave of emotion in my heart. They challenged us to really be seeking God and praying constantly, and for good measure! We need direction in our lives, we need to know God's will, God's plans, we need God's provision. I can't understand this season of our lives and why it's so difficult, but prayer changes things. The power of God is literally within us, and that power has the ability to change things! [go to www.gatewaypeople.com and check out this weekend's sermon]
In this weekend's sermon, pastor Robert gave an awesome analogy. When we turn on our hot water faucet, we will stand there and wait, and wait, and wait until it turns hot. We know it will turn hot. But when it comes to prayer, it's like we're turning on the faucet, letting the cup fill up and we feel that it's cold, so we say Oh well, guess it's not gonna get hot, and we walk away. We can't give up! God is definitely going to answer the prayers that we have
And there are so many questions/prayers. Just a small few of them...
Has God called Rob to go to college? Have we even asked Him if it's His will for Rob?
Why is immigration taking so long? Is there a block in the way that we need to pray through?
What is God's desire for us this year?
What creative ways are there to make money? How can we get by while we're waiting for a better paying job?
I know this is a lot of deep stuff to blog about, and that's why I'm done and leaving you with adorable pictures of my growing boy.
In this weekend's sermon, pastor Robert gave an awesome analogy. When we turn on our hot water faucet, we will stand there and wait, and wait, and wait until it turns hot. We know it will turn hot. But when it comes to prayer, it's like we're turning on the faucet, letting the cup fill up and we feel that it's cold, so we say Oh well, guess it's not gonna get hot, and we walk away. We can't give up! God is definitely going to answer the prayers that we have
And there are so many questions/prayers. Just a small few of them...
Has God called Rob to go to college? Have we even asked Him if it's His will for Rob?
Why is immigration taking so long? Is there a block in the way that we need to pray through?
What is God's desire for us this year?
What creative ways are there to make money? How can we get by while we're waiting for a better paying job?
I know this is a lot of deep stuff to blog about, and that's why I'm done and leaving you with adorable pictures of my growing boy.
3 months old! Want an idea of how much he's grown? See below of him at two months old:
Oh hi little Rocky Balboa baby.
He LOVES to stand now. And smile :-)
Monday, January 23, 2012
Letters to Josiah
Dear Josiah,
On this Monday evening, just hours shy of you being 14 weeks old, I'm pondering all the ways life has been made better since you came into our lives. Did you know it's been nearly a year now since we found out we were pregnant with you? I was telling Daddy the other night that when I look back to those early pregnant days, of how distraught I was, and felt God didn't know what He was doing, my heart is absolutely grieved. A year ago, I never could have imagined what an incredible blessing you would be now.
You light up the world with your smile.
Seriously. You melt my heart every time you smile at me.
You are a child who knows what he wants. Already I can see in your personality that you are going to be a great and strong leader. When your diaper needs to be changed, or you are hungry, there is no leading up to it. It's one second you are happy, then another second you've changed your mind and you are angry. When we get in the car, if the car isn't moving, you aren't happy. We will pull up to a red light, and you start screaming. But the instant Daddy's foot lets off the break, you are happy again. I love these unique things about you. I have a feeling you are going to be a handful as you get older and really have your opinions on things ;-)
Some of your favorite things are, besides milk of course, diaper changes (you giggle and smile and just kick those chubby little legs like crazy!) You also love being outside. If you start getting cranky and screaming inside our apartment, all we have to do is pick you up and go outside, and you are happy as can be! And you are VERY much a people person. You love to be around lots of other people. You want to talk when you hear them talking, you want to be sitting up and looking around at all of them. But as soon as we leave the big group of people, unhappy Josiah! Like I said, you are one unique little boy ;-)
I love you so much my sweet boy. God definitely knew what He was doing a year ago. Even though not every day is easy, my heart falls more in love with you each passing day.
Love,
Momma
On this Monday evening, just hours shy of you being 14 weeks old, I'm pondering all the ways life has been made better since you came into our lives. Did you know it's been nearly a year now since we found out we were pregnant with you? I was telling Daddy the other night that when I look back to those early pregnant days, of how distraught I was, and felt God didn't know what He was doing, my heart is absolutely grieved. A year ago, I never could have imagined what an incredible blessing you would be now.
You light up the world with your smile.
Seriously. You melt my heart every time you smile at me.
You are a child who knows what he wants. Already I can see in your personality that you are going to be a great and strong leader. When your diaper needs to be changed, or you are hungry, there is no leading up to it. It's one second you are happy, then another second you've changed your mind and you are angry. When we get in the car, if the car isn't moving, you aren't happy. We will pull up to a red light, and you start screaming. But the instant Daddy's foot lets off the break, you are happy again. I love these unique things about you. I have a feeling you are going to be a handful as you get older and really have your opinions on things ;-)
Some of your favorite things are, besides milk of course, diaper changes (you giggle and smile and just kick those chubby little legs like crazy!) You also love being outside. If you start getting cranky and screaming inside our apartment, all we have to do is pick you up and go outside, and you are happy as can be! And you are VERY much a people person. You love to be around lots of other people. You want to talk when you hear them talking, you want to be sitting up and looking around at all of them. But as soon as we leave the big group of people, unhappy Josiah! Like I said, you are one unique little boy ;-)
I love you so much my sweet boy. God definitely knew what He was doing a year ago. Even though not every day is easy, my heart falls more in love with you each passing day.
Love,
Momma
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Bye Bye Baby Weight
I'd like to proudly announce that as of today I've now lost 25 pounds since Josiah was born! The pounds have really started melting off since working at Starbucks. And I've also started a half marathon training program, hopefully to run the Oklahoma City half on April 29th. I'd like to thank my awesome, amazing, studly husband for pushing me to reach my goals, supporting me, and happily taking care of Josiah while I head to the gym. I couldn't do this without him :-)
Well I wish I could write more but Josiah is a bit on the cranky side and wants his momma...
Monday, January 9, 2012
Family Friendly
[a.] boss officially hates Rob. literally. when Rob comes near Josiah, Boss growls at him. when Boss is laying in Rob's spot on the bed and Rob comes to move him, Boss will growl and nip at him. but Boss doesn't ever do this with me. he is no longer the sweet innocent little puppy we got nearly a year ago.
[b.] josiah seems to be in a phase of needing to be held all the time. he can't seem to fall asleep without being held. and he's cranky 90% of the time if he's not being held. don't get me wrong I enjoy very much being able to cuddle him, but it makes doing anything else impossible.
[c.] i told Rob last night i want to start a 90 day bible reading plan. i really want to dive into the Bible again, and when i did this plan two years ago i learned and grew so much. this might be a bit challenging working full time and having a baby now. but i really want to do it!
[d.] i'm a gym rat. i've started doing kickboxing classes, and now just started trying out spin classes. kicking. my. butt....back to pre prego days! gotta looooong way to go, but i'm determined!
[e.] i should go do some of that bible reading plan while i have a chance, since my baby is doing this...
[b.] josiah seems to be in a phase of needing to be held all the time. he can't seem to fall asleep without being held. and he's cranky 90% of the time if he's not being held. don't get me wrong I enjoy very much being able to cuddle him, but it makes doing anything else impossible.
[c.] i told Rob last night i want to start a 90 day bible reading plan. i really want to dive into the Bible again, and when i did this plan two years ago i learned and grew so much. this might be a bit challenging working full time and having a baby now. but i really want to do it!
[d.] i'm a gym rat. i've started doing kickboxing classes, and now just started trying out spin classes. kicking. my. butt....back to pre prego days! gotta looooong way to go, but i'm determined!
Saturday, January 7, 2012
A Little Rambling
I can't believe it's January 2012. It's been nearly a year now since we first found out we were pregnant. How different life is now than it was a year ago! And how different I am. I think I'm amazed more each day at how much Josiah has changed my life. Everything has such a bigger purpose, more meaning. Whenever I go anywhere anymore, I pray, God please keep me safe so that I can come home to my baby. And when I'm at work I pray, God please bless Rob as he gets to stay home with Josiah, give him patience and wisdom and let them have an amazing day together. Keep them safe, keep them healthy, and thank you for another day to have them both in my life. I am more in love with this little crying, slobbering, smiling, kicking baby every day.
It's definitely been hard going to work. I'm usually opening at Starbucks which means my alarm goes off at 3:15 am. I go wash my face, grab a bowl of cereal, and pump a bottle or two before kissing Josiah's cheek and running out the door. The good news is I absolutely love working at Starbucks. I am having so much fun, and outside of the honor academy I've never worked with such a great group of people. However, even though I'm full time, it's still not enough to pay all the bills and rent. Please keep us in your prayers as I've got to find a second job ASAP, or I really don't know that we can afford to live here anymore.
I keep trying to tell myself this is only temporary, life will not always be this way. I don't want these temporary afflictions to cause bitterness or for me to lose my faith. God is a good, loving, kind, and compassionate God. I know he cares about the details of our lives, and though I don't understand why our situation has to be so difficult, I know one day I'll see the bigger picture. Just like Rob's job loss nearly a year ago turned out to be a huge blessing in the end, this too has great meaning. Somehow.
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