tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9667872975019632482024-02-06T21:35:04.410-06:00Expecting the UnexpectedAmerican Girl. Canadian Boy. Texan Baby.Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.comBlogger152125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-67431735041103667512013-03-27T08:50:00.000-05:002013-03-27T08:53:47.273-05:00Currently<b>Doing:</b> training for a half marathon. My 4th one! I am so, so confident that I am stronger than I've ever been in my life. I did 8.5 miles this past Sunday and didn't wake up the next day with even a hint of soreness. In the past once I hit about 8.5 to 9 miles, that's been my breaking point where my legs just don't want to work anymore. I believe this year will be much different!<br />
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<b>Excited About:</b> LOTS OF THINGS! I just upgraded my camera from an entry level to a pro DSLR, and uh, it was a dose of humility at first. I literally googled "where does the memory card go?" and "how do you take a picture". Yes, how do you take a picture. In my defense, it was a used camera and was on a setting I had never heard of that was the problem :-) ...Also, I am working on a website (I have a domain name, that's a start!). And becoming a legitimate business. It's so cool knowing that I set goals and timelines for myself back in December, and those timelines are looking like real possibilities! Next month marks one year since I picked up my first camera (and you better believe I will NOT be showing you any of those early pictures...ick!)</div>
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<b>Looking At:</b> two pictures I took of Josiah this weekend. Only a photographer understands this, but I decided I would only shoot RAW once I got my new camera, and I'd do anything necessary to make that happen. And by golly I made it happen! I cannot stop staring at these two photos of Josiah. One, because I've never seen his eyes look so beautiful and piercing, and those luscious pink lips! Two, Josiah stops smiling the second the camera comes out anymore. He just wants to play with it. So the fact that I actually got to freeze that perfect split second in time just makes me giddy!</div>
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<b>Thinking About:</b> the future of this blog. While I love keeping my family updated on things going on, or occasionally sharing things I'm learning in the Word and God's faithfulness, I'm having to reevaluate how I'm spending my time. I never spent time pursuing a big following on here, because I kind of always knew that one day I probably wouldn't want to do this anymore. And right now, outside of being a wife and mom, my greatest desire is to be doing photography. And if my little bit of extra time isn't spent learning or trying to grow my business, I don't need to be doing it. I'm pretty sure once my website is live, my blogging will move it's focus to business and this particular little place of mine won't be used anymore. Just something I'm thinking about right now.</div>
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<b>Looking Forward To</b>: the next several weekends! Part two of a college senior photoshoot this weekend, plus my parents are coming for Easter. Mid April we are FINALLY going to see our beloved friends, the Bumbaloughs (babies sure make travelling and seeing each other much more difficult). And of course, the half marathon at the end of April in Oklahoma City (Rob is doing the full marathon)!</div>
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<b>xoxo</b></div>
<!--3-->Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-57938148656861085302013-03-18T10:14:00.002-05:002013-03-18T10:14:19.918-05:00Josiah - 17 MonthsI haven't done one of these posts in a long time, but Josiah is 17 months today, and he deserves a post dedicated to him today :-)<br />
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I honestly don't know where to start - he is doing and saying so much these days.<br />
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Every afternoon when I get home from work we always go for a family walk. As soon as I say "go for a walk?" Josiah RUNS to his stroller and pushes it towards the door. Kid knows! And of course the dog knows what "walk" means and starts going nuts. We always go check the mail, then go through the front gate so Boss can do his business. If we don't go through the front gate, Josiah will literally freak out. That's our routine, and he can't handle when the routine is broken. From what I hear, his daddy was the exact same way when he was a kid. Oh boy.<br />
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Right now Josiah's favorite book is Clifford Barks. We have read this book <i>so.many.times</i> that we have it memorized. It's mindless for us now. He even says Clifford now (Ci-fur). Also in the book, Clifford's owner is that little girl, right? He points to the girl on every page and goes "Guh!" for girl. There comes a time every day that I think oh my gosh, I don't want to read Clifford for the 157th time today, but then I just have to remind myself that these days will be over way too soon, and I'll wish I could have Josiah sit in my lap and read him Clifford again.<br />
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Little man is a seriously picky eater. I guess part of it isn't really the food, but our lack of mealtime routine. We don't have a kitchen table, and probably won't for a very long time, so Rob and I have sat on the floor until last week when we got a couch. Josiah will often get two bites in and refuse to eat anymore until we take him out of the high chair so he can eat like Momma and Daddy eats. I know, I know, you don't need to say it.<br />
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This winter we have been truly, extremely blessed health-wise. I'll preface this by saying that even while I was pregnant with Josiah we prayed over him often that no sickness would enter his body, not even colds. And? He has only been <i>minorly</i> sick twice since he's been born. He had a possible ear infection about a year ago, then at Thanksgiving this past year he had some congestion going on while we were in Oklahoma. But since? Not a trace. He's been so healthy this winter (and guess what folks - we don't believe in getting the flu shot!) and I believe it's because we covered him in prayer (I also know that this can lead into a big debate, but uh, let's refrain from going there please?)<br />
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I just love my little boy SO MUCH. I love watching him grow and learn and become this little person. Being his Momma is the absolute best thing in life.<br />
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<br />Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-30498452843467556932013-02-26T09:15:00.000-06:002013-02-26T09:15:02.056-06:00One Year AgoThis morning before I got Josiah up I had a few minutes to spend with the Lord.<br />
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Honestly, this is extremely rare. I kid you not that ever since Josiah was born, any time I've tried to get up early to spend time with the Lord, without fail he wakes up. I.Kid.You.Not.<br />
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Anyway, this is beside the point. I was reading through my journal entry from this time a year ago, and I melted into tears at the Lord's faithfulness, and I just need to share this with you all. Those of you closest to us know the depth of the struggles we were in. You know our story, and our pain, and you see where we are now. I look at these blessings different these days, knowing how quickly and easily money and earthly things can be taken away. I don't hold them so tightly anymore. I know there will be struggles in the future. But I hope and pray that things are never as dire and desperate as they were a year ago. Here is what I wrote at the beginning of March one year ago:<br />
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<i>Earlier this week a friend of ours out of the blue sent us $80. Obviously, we were quite blessed! Then yesterday we went out to Teen Mania for alumni reunion weekend. During one of the services we went up for prayer and this man had a very powerful word for us, that God's favor was on us and He was about to really bless us. After the service this man slipped Rob a note. We looked later and rolled up in this note was $100. We were blown away that twice this week people blessed us with money! But it wasn't until later that I noticed the significance. The total we'd be given that week was $180.<u> If you think about it, a 180 degree turn takes you in the complete opposite direction of where you're headed.</u> We have been on a path of discouragement, joblessness, financial struggle, emotional struggle, uncertainty, lack of faith, etc. But this week God is saying "I am changing the course of your path. I'm doing a 180 degree change of where you've been. You are going to experience encouragement, a job, financial blessing, vision for the future, your faith will grow leaps and bounds. Change is about to happen." .....This is stuff that we would never experience if we didn't go through the fire and trials beforehand. We wouldn't see these kinds of miracles if it weren't for the trials -<b> I feel so blessed that God chose us to go through these things.</b></i><br />
<i>Despite my bitterness, lack of faith, frustration, even anger, God's love never fails, it never gives up, never runs out on me. Our lives are going to be a great testimony to others!</i><br />
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Really, this speaks for itself and I don't need to add anything else. I am completely and utterly blown away at God's faithfulness.Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-80619242737839306402013-02-25T09:57:00.002-06:002013-02-25T09:57:32.939-06:00Telling a Story with a DiptychI've seen so many photographers make diptychs with their photos (placing two images side by side to tell a story), and I've always thought it was only possible with photoshop.<br />
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This weekend I took some time to go through tutorials on how this can actually be done in Lightroom! Needless to say, I'm quite thrilled with how my first diptych turned out. You can see the original on my facebook page <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=437793929630854&set=a.432124110197836.97914.323639767712938&type=1&relevant_count=9" target="_blank">HERE</a>.<br />
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By the way, the tutorial I followed is <a href="http://blogs.adobe.com/jnack/2009/08/tutorial_creating_diptychs_in_lightroom.html" target="_blank">HERE </a>.<br />
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<br />Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-65608627796122307412013-02-12T15:13:00.003-06:002013-02-12T15:13:59.131-06:00Pinterest and Fake BeautyI'm cautiously admitting to spending a healthy amount of time on Pinterest. But I just love how easy it is to keep all of your ideas and things you love so accessible in one spot!<br />
Pinterest has literally supplied nearly my whole menu for the past month and a half.<br />
Also, having a billion photos at my fingertips, I've also gained a lot of inspiration in my own photography.<br />
I've learned how to do "ombre" nails, thus avoiding spending lots of money getting my nails done all the time.<br />
And I've acquired many at home workouts for those days when I simply can't get to the gym.<br />
This little corner of the internet has served me quite well.<br />
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Along with all of this good stuff, however, there is a major downside that I believe is affecting a lot of women.<br />
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Everywhere you look on Pinterest you find pictures of thin, ripped, strong women with hardly an ounce of body fat. Those pictures have captions like "Motivation to get in shape," "Tips for the fitness junkies," or "Lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks with these workout tips."<br />
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Friends, this is SO UNHEALTHY! It's so easy to be inundated with these images that we think that it's the norm, or everybody but you looks like that. We all have very different body types, and the women featured in these photos are so very, very different than many of us. Can you push your body past its limits and get in amazing, kick-butt shape? Of course! But I'm just afraid that these photos are casting an unrealistic goal to us.<br />
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For one woman, 140 pounds would be a healthy weight. To another, that would actually be overweight. And to someone like me, that would be anorexic! Ladies, it's time to love yourself. It's time to be okay with who you are, accept your body type, and focus on being the best YOU. Use Pinterest to gain ideas and inspiration, but tread carefully. If your aim is to look like the images you are putting before you, chances are you'll never reach that image and will live in a state of unhappiness and dissatisfaction with yourself.<br />
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You are so incredibly beautiful just the way you are. Don't let Pinterest tell you otherwise.<br />
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XoXoStephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-33176646129391905802013-02-01T22:36:00.001-06:002013-02-01T22:36:11.246-06:00Family Date NightBefore we had Josiah, Rob and I would have a date night every Friday night. After my job loss and things got tight financially, and especially after having a baby, weekly date nights just aren't possible. However, even in the hardest of times, we've still made it a point to do <i>something</i> together. We love Friday night frozen yogurt. Josiah loves it too - it's his big treat! Tonight I just wanted to capture a few moments of our Friday night family date.<div>
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Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-7499933024674558522013-01-29T10:39:00.000-06:002013-01-29T10:39:37.624-06:00A DreamDoes God speak to us through people we admire or look up to?<br />
What if said person is someone we've never met?<br />
And God uses a dream to speak to us in the voice of that person?<br />
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Weird and vague I know.<br />
<br />
And sometimes I get anxiety about sharing something that feels a little more personal.<br />
<br />
But last night I had this very vivid dream where I was communicating with a photographer I really admire, and she is such a lover of God too. I can't remember her full, first comment to me, but she ended it with "beautiful lady."<br />
I replied, "I love that you always say 'beautiful lady.'"<br />
And she said "Well of course! Your creativity is exquisite." (At least, I THINK those were the exact words said, I'm a little foggy now)<br />
<br />
I immediately woke up from this dream and knew that God spoke those words to me. I knew, because I've desperately needed to hear those words.<br />
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It's been a long time fault of mine to fall into the comparison trap. I fall into it big time regarding beauty & photography.<br />
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I see women who have had 3 kids and look like supermodels. Or women who can eat whatever they want and not gain an ounce. (how unfair, right?!)<br />
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I see these professionals with their college degrees and $15,000 worth of equipment and feel I can never measure up.<br />
<br />
BUT<br />
<br />
I am enough. I am beautiful. The dreams God has given me are unique and the ability he's gifted me with are exquisite. God can and will use me exactly where I'm at, with my limited experience and funds. I must continue to be faithful with what he's given me and stop comparing to everyone else!<br />
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Step up. Step out. Your creativity is exquisite.Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-25465562417012236642013-01-23T11:08:00.002-06:002013-01-23T11:08:27.768-06:00Greener GrassIt seems I'm constantly learning that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I've talked about chasing dreams, moving, believing things will be better when we get to x, y, and z. But sometimes the grass is just green enough to paint a beautiful portrait...if you allow yourself to see it that way. I can almost picture the dead grass next to my apartment shining a beautiful golden hue at sunset. A picture worth hanging on my wall.<br />
<br />
I'm not where I want to be, but I'm getting there. My heart is being refined, I'm choosing joy even when I don't feel like it, I'm working to be faithful in the small things, in the things that aren't my own, believing that God can then entrust me with much more.<br />
<br />
On a less heavy note, my cousin in Oklahoma gifted me with the chance to attend a full weekend photography workshop in Oklahoma mid-February. I feel so blessed and excited! I am just crazy itching to actually launch a business and be doing more with photography. I have so much vision and so many dreams. Just praying that the Lord would help me bring in clients :-)<br />
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Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-71808711856268714952013-01-07T09:07:00.000-06:002013-01-07T09:07:02.096-06:00The Places I've LivedWhen I see pictures of any place I've lived, there are fond memories attached to each of those places. There are hard memories, tough times attached too, but I seem to only recall the good times. And naturally it leaves me longing for it a bit. I experienced it when I moved away from east Texas. Golly I longed for that place. It's been 2 1/2 years since I moved away from there, and while I occasionally miss it, I've realized with time, that I miss the people, the experiences, the things that only existed in that season. I've come to terms that I don't get those things back, and I'm glad I lived life to the fullest while I was there.<br />
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When I lived in Canada, newly married at the ripe age of 21, plucked from all things familiar, I did not live life to the fullest. I complained, I hated the cold, whined about the snow, talked often about missing my home church in Texas, missed my family. But when I look at pictures now, see familiar people, Canadian family, and sweet friendships that were made in that 9 months, my heart deeply longs to go back. I see what I missed out on while I spent so much time complaining. And I guess I wish I could have a second chance. And I wonder how life would have turned out had we not moved back to Texas.<br />
<br />
I sense that there is more regret, more longing, when we don't live life to the fullest. Either when we don't see the blessings in a certain season, or when our hearts are guarded - it holds us back from all that God has for us.<br />
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I cannot change the past and my mistakes. Maybe one day we will get the chance to live in Canada again, who knows. But I want the lesson learned from all of this to stick - no matter where I am, live life! We miss out on so much when we choose to complain rather than let God reveal the beauty and the blessing of where we are at. That includes right now, living in Texas, wondering what the future holds, trusting God with our desires and dreams, knowing that He really does have the absolute BEST in mind.Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-9900981294243660662013-01-05T22:33:00.003-06:002013-01-05T22:33:59.610-06:00First Week of 2013Well we are a few days into 2013 now. Josiah seems to have picked up some little bit of sickness this week. He doesn't want to eat much, doesn't want to drink anything, and is breathing like darth vader. Poor baby. I've pulled out all the stops to try and help the guy out, and he seemed to have a lot more energy today, but still darth vader and no appetite. Hopefully this clears soon! I started to feel a bit of his cold hitting me, so I'm drowning myself in vitamin C, hot tea, and green smoothies. Seems to be working so far.<br />
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Rob started his new job. He's working overnights 3 nights a week as a security officer. It's definitely a change to get used to, being alone for 14 hours, then being alone during the day so Rob can sleep. Good thing I have a fun and energetic little boy on my hands! After Josiah goes to bed and I'm all alone, reminds me of my single days. Days that I don't miss, days that I pray I never will know again. I am so thankful and blessed that God allowed me to get married and have my own family at such a young age. Pretty sure I'm the only 23 year old on the planet who is celebrating that I'm going to bed at 10:30 at night! I wouldn't have it any other way :-)<br />
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You know, I have not taken a SINGLE picture since 3 days before Christmas? Yes, that means I didn't take any pictures of our Christmas this year. Which is like, blasphemous when I'm so passionate about photography. It's been kind of nice to just soak it all in, to be refreshed. It's actually stirring my heart so much for what's ahead with photography, coming up with plans, ideas, and lots of vision and determination :-)<br />
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Forgive me for the randomness and lack of any point to this blog. This momma's brain is exhausted and foggy! Glad I only have like 6 followers on here ;-)Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-86250762495560999662013-01-02T07:47:00.002-06:002013-01-02T07:47:39.617-06:002012. Yes, Like Everyone ElseOne year ago today I wrote in my journal - "2010 was the best year of my life, 2011 was the worst, please please please God just let 2012 be normal." And it's safe to say that it was. 2012 had the normal ups and downs, but it was never consistently bad, nor consistently awesome, just the winding roads of ups and downs. And I'm okay with that.<br />
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The first 7 months we relied absolutely and completely on the provision of the Lord. We did without a lot, and I mean A LOT. But God always provided <b>exactly </b>what we needed each and every month.<br />
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Two different times there was an anonymous and unexplainable deposit in our bank account that paid our rent. A couple of times strangers handed us cash. Several times friends wrote us checks so that Rob and I could have a simple, desperately needed date night. Each time God provided, it was <b>thrilling</b>!<br />
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In the midst of our financial struggle, in April God spoke to me about taking a giant leap of faith and pursuing my passion for photography. That was tough, really really tough, to trust God on that one. But my husband fully supported it, and it was one of the best decisions.<br />
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In June I was offered a full time job, one that would finally take care of our family. I cannot even tell you what a relief it was to finally KNOW that we could pay rent when the 1st came around. And while God providing for us each month was thrilling, and I am so thankful for that season, the growth, and the lessons learned, I hope we never go through that again. In fact, that season has changed my heart SO SO SO dramatically towards the poor and needy all around us. My hope is that God can use this experience to change other people's lives in 2013.<br />
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In July, Rob became a permanent resident of the USA! This is hands down the highlight of the year. The immigration process was the most difficult and trying thing I've ever done in my life, and I'm so glad we never have to think about it again.<br />
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Rob started working in the fall for a valet company, and while we've been grateful for that job, ten hours a week and not knowing if you'll even end up getting those hours was getting pretty lame. So Rob was offered a job as an overnight security guard, and this is a job he is really going to love. It's right up his alley! I cannot tell you guys how much Rob deserves this. After spending a year as strictly a stay at home Dad, seeking God and trusting Him during this season of being unable to work, man does he deserve this!<br />
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I am so, SO excited for 2013. There is something melodic that leaves me in great anticipation for this year ahead.Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-493405047271870122012-12-20T09:38:00.001-06:002012-12-20T09:38:15.487-06:00Family at ChristmastimeIt doesn't surprise me that I'm uninspired to blog lately. My own personal journal has 3 entries in the last two months. Especially this past week I've just sat here and wondered, why is this even important? This is so minimal, so trivial, just not even worth it, in comparison to recent events. But despite pain, despite the suffering and questions and wondering how something like this could possibly happen, our lives don't stop. And I really can't bring myself to say much more on the topic or I'll be reduced to tears. Many other people have said it all already, so on that note...<br />
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Yes, life is still happening around here. Rob's mom and grandma came into town on Sunday evening. It is always a tremendous blessing having family around. We've loved having someone to take care of Josiah while we spend some much needed time out with each other and with friends. And Josiah is loooooving the tons of extra attention from his grandma and great grandma (or GG, as she has rightly been named).<br />
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Tuesday evening Rob and I had a little Christmas celebration of sorts with our friends Emmie and Chris. Chris baked the MOST delicious homemade cookies, with a glass of milk of course. And I <strike>dominated</strike> humbly won a game of Farkle. At the end of the evening they blessed us with sweet, thoughtful Christmas gifts. Truly thankful for such wonderful, lasting, deep friendships.<br />
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Last night we took our Canadian relatives out for some authentic Tex Mex dinner ;-) Great Grandma had her first EVER margarita. She agreed she's missed out her whole life. If that wasn't enough, we went to Target after dinner, which GG has ALSO been missing out on her whole life. Ha. We were going to head over to Grapevine afterwards to see the beautiful Christmas lights downtown, but Josiah was on the verge of epic meltdown, so we called it a night and will try again on Saturday.<br />
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More adventure, and pictures to come, hopefully sooner rather than later.Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-18462585190213856352012-12-06T08:06:00.001-06:002012-12-06T08:06:54.919-06:00The Yellow ChairThis little yellow chair. Left as trash at someone's curb. Worthless, useless, no good anymore.<br />
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Until.<br />
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Someone noticed its beauty.<br />
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Saw its potential.<br />
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And picked it up out of the trash pile to give it new life.<br />
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I'm a little like that yellow chair. Picked up out of the muck and mud, made clean and given new life. Redemption. A beautiful new purpose in the hand of the Lord. I wasn't qualified, I wasn't even calling out for help, but He noticed me, He came, and now I'm a powerful tool all because He chose me.<br />
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<br />Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-14144397209033242542012-11-30T09:51:00.001-06:002012-11-30T13:00:27.473-06:00Friday Words<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Sometimes I can't fully put into expressed sentences what's on my heart. Sometimes only simple words or short phrases will say it best.</div>
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Contentment.</div>
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Trust.</div>
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Thankful.</div>
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Grace.</div>
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Love.</div>
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Photography.</div>
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Heart's desire.</div>
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Patience.</div>
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God's timing.</div>
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Favor.</div>
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Hearing God's voice.</div>
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Roots that go deep.</div>
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Fruits of the Spirit.</div>
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<i>Joy. Joy. Joy. Joy.</i></div>
Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-26243687149461959202012-11-27T11:30:00.001-06:002012-11-27T11:30:10.485-06:00Life LatelyThanksgiving - we trekked to Oklahoma for a few days. Josiah was a cranky mess on the drive to Oklahoma, finally slept the last maybe 45 minutes of the drive. As soon as we got to my parent's house he became severely congested and was having trouble breathing. He didn't sleep a wink Thursday night - around 4 am Rob ended up taking him for a drive around town and he slept in the car. But Friday and Saturday morning were alike - awful congestion and labored breathing. Thankfully my sister had this machine she used on Caleb (who is 5 days older than Josiah) that gives a medicated breathing treatment. I can't remember for the life of me what the thing is called though. It helped somewhat.<br />
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We came home Saturday late in the morning because Rob had to work that day. Upon returning home Josiah seemed almost back to normal, aside from a runny nose. This convinced me that Josiah can't handle being around cigarette smoke at all. I'll refrain from issuing more thoughts on smoking, but I just know that it had something to do with Josiah's labored breathing.<br />
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Needless to say, this wasn't the most relaxing vacation weekend.<br />
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The weekend before we attempted an anniversary weekend getaway. Our dog ran away from home and I cried the entire time we were gone. That was a bust. (He returned the next day and waited on the patio for us to come home) Seems like we just can't catch a break. We are in serious, desperate need of a fun, relaxing time, enjoying each other, not worrying about <i>anything.</i><br />
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Josiah.<br />
Is walking everywhere.<br />
Is eating everything.<br />
Except chicken.<br />
And pears.<br />
He is my heartbeat.<br />
And my favorite son ;-)<br />
Still praying. Praying a lot. Praying every day. Multiple times a day. For God to reverse me and Rob's roles, so he can be the money maker and I can stay home with Josiah.<br />
I don't know how working moms do it. Maybe they have awesome jobs that they love. I still can't imagine an awesome job being better than staying at home with my kids. Soon. Soon. Soon. <i>Would you say a quick prayer for us, that God would bless us in this huge desire that we have to switch roles?</i><br />
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I guess that's all for now. Maybe some super adorable pictures later from Josiah and Caleb playing in the leaves at Thanksgiving.Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-78245230693107659682012-11-16T11:51:00.000-06:002012-11-16T11:51:59.423-06:00This post is for my own sake, writer's therapy I guess you could say. Sometimes writing is the best way to calm my heart and my thoughts.<br />
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There is a story from the Fort Worth area that came on as breaking news last night that my heart can't shake. As I listened to the story, I sat on the floor in my living room and wept. A young mom and her one year old child - a scenario so relatable. Her car was struck by another so forcefully, it propelled her car through a fence and into a pond. She was on the line with 911 while trying to escape from her sinking car, but was unable to get out. I'm in tears now just thinking about it.<br />
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I feel such intense heartache. Mostly as a mom, and the thought of being helplessly unable to save my child. Thoughts and emotions cascade into a wrestling match, trying to make sense of things. On one hand is fear, on another hand is faith in God, on the other hand, why does it have to be like this, the other hand, knowing it's a fallen world we live in. But still, tragedy will never make sense to me, even knowing what I know about God and life on earth.<br />
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What do you do when nothing makes sense?<br />
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I have faith that heaven is real, that I will one day be in a place that is more perfect and beautiful than our minds can fathom. A place where there is no more pain, no more suffering, that ones we love and have lost will grasp us in hugs so tight. That the present troubles on earth will long be forgotten. Those of us still here on earth, dealing with pain, trials, loss, and heartache, we will blink and this momentary affliction will be behind us. Right now it doesn't feel momentary, but in the big picture, it really is.<br />
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The big picture. Heaven. Eternity. Therein my hope lies. Life on earth may not make sense sometimes, but I'm choosing today to cling to the Hope of Jesus Christ.Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-84205537015664465232012-11-09T09:12:00.002-06:002012-11-09T09:12:13.855-06:00A Letter for Someone I LoveThe chances of you reading this are pretty slim, but it's on my heart anyways. There are things I want to say to you, that you probably wouldn't listen to in person.<br />
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As I've watched your life unfold the past several years, it's been racked with many tough blows. It's been pain, heartache, rejection, and more rejection. At the same time, you've also shown tremendous strength. You earned your associates degree while being a single mom to two kids (one of those a brand new baby). That's a really big deal, and everyone around you is so proud of you.<br />
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After all you've been through, I can imagine it's hard to trust anyone, that it's hard to let anyone love you. There's a measuring stick in place and each person must measure up or the walls come up. I can understand. You don't want to be hurt again, you want to protect yourself. But as someone on the outside, it hurts US when we miss the mark by a smidge and the walls come up against us. Truth is, however, that I am human. As much as I try I will make mistakes, I will still do any say hurtful things. I'm truly sorry for those times. But I hope you know that I would never, ever, purposely try to hurt you. My love for you is genuine, it's real, and it's forever. No matter what.<br />
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I wish I could tell you how different life would be if you would accept the love of a real, heavenly Father. It's hard to wrap your mind around that, because you never knew the love of your own earthly father. But still, I pray for you <i>quite often</i> that God's love would penetrate your heart. That you would experience the miracle of His grace. No matter what you've been through in life, I believe God can break past all of those barriers.<br />
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I wish I could tell you that there's hope. There's real hope. That your life doesn't have to continue going the way it's always gone. That passion and drive inside of you can really take you far, <i>especially when you are walking in the fullness of all that God has for you.</i><br />
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I wish I could tell you that you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for. I wish I could tell you that you are beautiful, and you don't need to hide behind beautiful and expensive things for people to respect you. You're worth more than superficial things and empty promises.<br />
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I wish I could tell you how much your two little ones are so lucky you are their mother. You love them and care for them so much.<br />
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One day maybe I'll be able to say these things to you. One day when you'll hear me. They are left for now to this little space of mine online. I love you, and you are just on my heart today.<br />
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<br />Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-29328976483289879382012-11-06T09:26:00.000-06:002012-11-06T09:26:12.909-06:00More Thoughts on GraceAs I was driving home late last night, after a long day at work and an evening with the ladies of our small group, I realized how rare it is for me to get away and spend time with a group of women. Which is strange, seeing as how that was basically my life at Teen Mania for 3 years. But things change, life doesn't ever stay the same, does it?<br />
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This led to thoughts about my relationship with God after having a child. Now that's an area that is vastly different today than it was 2 or 3 years ago. Back then, I'd easily have an hour to myself in the mornings, or if I slept in, I'd have that hour in the evenings to spend time soaking in the Word. But when Josiah came, an hour to myself went out the backdoor.<br />
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At TM, we were required to have an hour of "quiet time" every day. This is a great thing, but I think if you're not careful, it can easily lead to a legalistic mindset.<i> If I don't get this hour, then I'm a failure and I'm slacking and have a bad relationship with God.</i><br />
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Sadly, this is a mindset I unknowingly developed after Josiah was born. There have been so many times that I'd actually set my alarm extra early to try and get that hour in of quiet time, and Josiah would wake up 20 minutes into my reading. Then I'd get all frustrated and think well, I barely scratched the surface and didn't get real time with God in today.<br />
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It has taken time to re-wire my brain of the mindset that I have to have an hour (because in reality, I just don't have that time!). God is not sitting there with a timer, and if I miss the mark, He's not going to speak to me.<br />
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God is so pleased when we turn our hearts to him for ANY amount of time. If it's 5 minutes before we head out the door of thanking him and praising him, he is pleased. If it's 15 minutes spent reading the Word or praying on lunch break, he is pleased. We don't get extra points with Him for spending an hour vs. 20 minutes. He can speak, He WILL speak, when we simply set aside distractions and turn our hearts to him.<br />
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We live a much more free and fulfilling life when we understand God's grace, and learn to step out of legalistic mindsets.Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-90311604855717646572012-11-05T14:07:00.001-06:002012-11-05T14:08:47.323-06:00Currently<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 14px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Loving:</b> that Josiah is walking more and more. All day Sunday he just wanted to walk all over the place all of a sudden. Also loving the cooler weather and occasional chance to wear a hoodie here in Texas, and the fact that the holidays are just around the corner!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Reading: </b>A few weeks ago I read <i>Sparkly Green Earrings</i> (yet to be released...<a href="http://grandeurgrace.blogspot.com/2012/10/sparkly-green-earrings-book-review.html" target="_blank">see here</a>) but haven't picked up anything new. I neeeeeeed another good book though!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Watching: </b> There's not a whole lot that I'm interested in right now, but there is one show that I'm like, Okay, stop everything, put Josiah to bed, I MUST watch this. And that is Nashville. I love.love.love this new show.<b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Listening to:</b> lately on the chilly nights we've been having, I've stood outside under the dark sky and just taken in the silence. Living outside the city, outside of all the traffic and noisy neighbors and obnoxious music blaring from cars, I find so much peace in the stillness. And silence is rare with a little one, so I enjoy every second of it I can get.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Thinking about: </b>how I'm going to be seeing even less of family in the coming weeks. this hurricane has us <i>slammed</i> at work. I hate being away from both of my guys.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Looking forward to: </b>one of my best friends is going to have a baby definitely by Thursday - cannot wait to meet her little guy and see her become a momma. Also looking forward to the holidays and being around family. OH and also looking forward to having enough money by December to upgrade to a professional camera and graduate from my little baby DSLR!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Making me happy: </b>really seeing results from running, pumpkin candles, snuggles with my baby boy, holiday drinks at Starbucks, the fact that I get to spend another day with my husband and son.</span></div>
Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-24369334997275150032012-10-30T10:04:00.001-05:002012-10-30T10:04:24.299-05:00On my Heart - Skipping College & MotherhoodI knew in 11th grade that college wasn't in my future. And it wasn't because I was a lazy student, in fact I took many advanced courses and maintained above a 4.0 in high school. It wasn't because I didn't have dreams for my life - I wanted to work in the music industry as a business executive most of my growing up. It's just, that I <i>knew</i> somehow, that college wasn't for me. So I chose to go to a year-long Christian internship called Teen Mania, and figure out God's plans for me.<br />
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While I was at Teen Mania I literally had the best job on earth, with the best boss on earth. I was Dave Hasz's assistant my third year there, and if you know Dave, then I don't have to say anything else for you to understand. During that time I fell in love with administrative work, found my niche, so to speak. I knew after leaving Teen Mania this was the kind of work I'd probably want to do.<br />
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Also while at TM, I had a mentor - Dave's mother, actually. This jewel of a woman opened my eyes to something my heart refused to acknowledge. There was more than just a "job" in my future, there was a life work, a purpose, far greater than any job out there.<br />
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Flash forward - I got married straight out of leaving Teen Mania...and had a baby 11 months later. Suddenly I understood what Dave's mother was saying all along. When I became a mother, I discovered my life work, and suddenly everything else seemed so dull in comparison. Every dream job I ever had before, seemed pointless. Administrative work - blah! All I want to do is be home, raising my baby (and in the future, whenever God gives them, more babies). In my eyes, there is no greater work to be done.<br />
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I'm sure there are many who cannot understand. And any women's right activist who may stumble upon this may want to scream at me. That's okay. I was there once. I couldn't understand why a woman would choose to stay at home with her babies after women have worked so hard in the past for the right to work.<br />
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Some days I struggle with the fact that I'm 23, never went to college, and have a baby. It's easy to feel judged in the eyes of the world. On the other hand, I'm learning to stand confident in God's plans - He really does know what he's doing. In my case, I'm thankful I don't have 4 years of college debt to deal with, knowing I'd never use that degree. This book I just read, <i>Sparkly Green Earrings</i>, the author, Melanie Shankle, addresses this topic. There's an unexplainable shift that happens to a woman when she becomes a mom. And it's <i>OKAY</i> to want nothing more than to raise your babies. Thank you, Melanie, thank you.<br />
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In the meantime, I'm grateful for the experience I got at Teen Mania that allows me to have a decent paying administrative job. But I pray<b> every.single.day</b> that God would bless Rob exceedingly abundantly all that we could ask or imagine, with a job that he loves and pays GOOD. And I believe that I'll get to do my life work soon, staying home with my little boy.<br />
Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-11652309254736968492012-10-26T12:14:00.002-05:002012-10-26T12:14:32.088-05:00Sparkly Green Earrings Book ReviewI love to read. Much more than I love to write. That's probably why I'm not a good blogger - I'd rather read other blogs. Case in point - <a href="http://thebigmamablog.com/" target="_blank">Big Mama</a>. Even more awesome, she's coming out with a book. And guess who got her hands on an advance copy of the book to read and review? Why yes, yours truly.<br />
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Melanie Shankle, author of the largely popular Big Mama blog, extends her voice beyond the blog world with her debut book, <i>Sparkly Green Earrings</i>. In her tale of life, motherhood, and letting go, Melanie's stories reach into the heart of every woman, whether she is already a mother, about to be one, or dreams of one day becoming one.<br />
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Melanie has written the type of book that makes you feel like you're sitting next to your best friend, sipping on coffee and sharing about life. She's warm. She's inviting. She's hilarious. And you will catch yourself more than once exclaiming, "Me too!"<br />
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Wanna know more? Check out the <a href="http://www.faithvillage.com/article/76b7e43273ee4f50b8f232ced7e2b189/sparkly_green_earrings_book_review" target="_blank">official review</a> on Faith Village. February is a long time to wait for this book, but you should get it, because it's really, really good.<br />
<br />Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-42350272664219535952012-10-23T12:46:00.004-05:002012-10-23T12:46:55.816-05:00RestResting is not something I do well. And this past week I've been forced into rest, and when I'm forced to do something, well, to be honest it can kinda make me a bit grumpy. Anyone relate?<br />
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I came down with a little sinus infection last week, but I couldn't let it stop me from running. Not running meant I was lazy, and laziness would surely gain me ten pounds. So what happened after I ran? It made things worse. Two days later I felt alright, so I decided to run again. Well that backfired, and I ended up much worse and added a cold to the mix. All because my performance mentality couldn't take a break.<br />
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Finally, finally I gave in and took a break (and asked God to <strike>not let me gain ten pounds </strike> heal me).<br />
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And the only reason I'm telling you all about how I'm sick is because there's a spiritual metaphor to all of this. It's good, I promise.<br />
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It's a little thing called Grace. A little thing that we are so far from understanding or wrapping our minds around. Several years ago I thought I'd experienced this "revelation" or understanding of grace. I began to scratch the surface at how often I'm performance minded, rather than grace minded. It was a beautiful thing to start living life the way God intended us to after Jesus died on the cross. And I was reminded this week through my sickness that there are still performance mentalities I'm enslaved to.<br />
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<i>Side note, this isn't some biblical study on grace. If you have questions about the teachings in the bible about grace, feel free to ask me, and we can talk more :-)</i><br />
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In this case, I was bad and lazy for not running (even though I was sick, it didn't matter). I couldn't rest! It's not Sunday, it's just not biblical to rest any other time.<br />
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Seriously ya'll, please tell me I'm not the only one who has these thoughts?!<br />
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In the end, God just said Steph, I'm not keeping a score card on you, I want you to rest. You have been working really hard for your family, it's wearing you down, and I WANT you to rest, and sleep, and do nothing but sit in a chair and read for a while.<br />
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And I gave in. I rested. I listened to His voice, accepted His grace, and I feel so refreshed by His presence.<br />
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<i>Psalm 4:8</i><br />
<i>I will both lie down in peace, and sleep;</i><br />
<i>For you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.</i>Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-79482921035079816752012-10-17T09:13:00.001-05:002012-10-18T08:31:39.670-05:00Dear JosiahToday you are a year old. I simply cannot wrap my mind around this fact, probably because I remember having you like it was yesterday. I distinctly remember having the thought after you were born that this day would come, and wondering what you would be like, look like, act like, a year from then. What would our lives as a family be like a year from then? Well it's been a year from then and...<br />
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You came out screaming and hollering, and really, it hasn't ever stopped. Just a few weeks ago your joyful and curious screaming got the cops called for an apparent domestic disturbance. Thanks baby boy. You are very vocal - if you've ever wanted something, there is no such thing as whimpering or crying. You are a screamer. But that's just who you are. You know what you want and you'll find a means of getting it. Your momma thinks you'll be a great leader because of this determined personality you have. <br />
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You are still a pretty small little guy. You were only just over 6 pounds when you were born, so it's not surprising that you are only around 20 pounds. But you sure are tall! You eat a LOT, and you love to eat anything and everything. You are not picky by any means, which I'm so thankful for. You are such an easy baby in that regard. {I'm also convinced you stole my metabolism}.<br />
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You haven't quite learned to walk on your own yet, and really aren't all that interested. Which is honestly perfectly fine with me and your daddy. We know you will get there eventually, so no rush sweet boy. <br />
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The saying dog is man's best friend? Well dog is baby's best friend. You and Boss are like the best of buds. When he wants to play he will bring you his bone and you'll sit on the floor in a round of tug of war, laughing hysterically. And when I need you to be entertained so I can cook dinner or do my hair, I'll sit you with Boss and he never ceases to capture your attention. <br />
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Josiah, you came into our lives during a very difficult time. Never in mine or your daddy's lives have we known such desperate financial times, and we had no idea how we would provide for you. But so many people showered us with gifts, and God always provided just enough money for diapers each week. I pray that when you get older you will look back at your parents' lives and their testimony and know the God we serve is the God who provides. You made the most difficult year equally the best year we've ever had. <br />
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Your momma loves you soooooo so so much baby boy. I can't say enough how you are the best thing that's ever happened. I look forward to the months and years ahead, watching you grow and learn and become who God made you to be. I pray that you will grow to know the love of Christ, that you will have such a revelation of His grace and love, that you will follow Him all the days of your life. <br />
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Happy 1st birthday baby boy!<br />
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<br />Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-19271742684053758502012-10-11T08:00:00.000-05:002012-10-11T09:30:22.615-05:00Embrace the Camera 10*11*12<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This past weekend our little town had an open house at the fire department. Josiah is too young to really enjoy all the fun stuff they had, but they also offered free lunch. Um, so not passing that up! See that middle picture? He has discovered his tongue recently and he loves to stick it out and make faces at himself. It's pretty darn cute :-)</div>
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Over here today embracing the camera...</div>
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Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-966787297501963248.post-14487728940736974592012-10-10T09:24:00.000-05:002012-10-10T09:24:59.926-05:00Seeing Things Differently<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">**My husband gave me complete permission to tell this story** :-)</span></i><br />
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Two weeks ago Rob got into a small accident in our new car. I was so upset I couldn't even look at the car. In fact, I've refused to look at the front bumper at all since it happened, until Monday. I mean, I didn't tell Rob I was upset, I told him it was okay and that it would get fixed, but our beautiful new car has a gash in the front bumper.<br />
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I'll spare you all the minor details, but it happened while he was at the social security office, trying to get his SS card so he can work in the states. [because immigration failed us one last time, long story] That little fact just made me even more upset because if immigration would have actually done what they were supposed to do, Rob wouldn't have been in that situation in the first place.<br />
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But on Monday as I was walking past the car, I stopped and stared at the gash in the bumper. It wasn't just a result of an accident, suddenly there was so much meaning in it. It was a battle scar from a fight. Rob's fight to take care of his family.<br />
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Lately I've been worn down, tired of working all the time and not doing what I love and want to do. Feeling helpless because Rob hasn't been able to work without his SS card, wondering if I'm gonna have to work in an unfulfilling job the rest of my life.<br />
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But now I see that battle scar on the car, and I know that Rob is fighting for me, for Josiah, for the ability to take care of us. I see that battle scar, and my heart is filled with joy and peace. I never thought I could be so thankful for a car accident.Stephanie Griffioenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17092248572647944519noreply@blogger.com1