Snow

Oh Canada and your snow.

Old friends and family are all talking about the big snow they got today, and it's leaving me with such bittersweet feelings.

I remember that first snow last year after we were married. We were living in the basement of this home pictured above and the snow kept getting higher and higher to where we almost couldn't see out the window. I thought it was beautiful and so exciting. There were many snows early on in the winter that left postcard perfect scenes before you. Roads, untouched by any cars yet, lined with trees overhanging the road covered by fresh, diamond-like glistening snow. It was captivating, as I'd never experienced anything like it before.

But by April, it was still freezing and snowing, and this southern girl was used to wearing flip flops outside by that time of year! I was so sick of it and couldn't wait to move.

And now, now that everyone is talking about the beautiful snow, I find myself reminiscent of those early winter days last year. That first snow reminds me of innocent, naive days before financial worries and "the real world" set in. Before job losses and endless job searching. I think 2011 can rightfully be titled The Year of the Job Search - it's literally all we've done from the end of January until now. Good gracious I hope better things are in store for 2012, because I can't wait to kick this past year to the curb and forget about most of it!

That all said, I really just wanted to say that today...I really miss that first big snow.

Merry Christmas from Josiah

Oh my goodness. Is he not the cutest thing on the planet? Rob's brother Darryl was in town the past few days and he had some fun taking tons of pictures of the little man. Seriously, I have the cutest baby ever.

In other news, I started working at Starbucks last week. Glad to finally have a real job, where I have a schedule, and I work hard with a bunch of super amazing people, and I'll get a predictable paycheck. I also got hired by Gateway Church to work in their cafe part time too! Aaaaand I'm pursuing a waitressing job for the evenings. Nuts huh? Well, gotta do what ya gotta do to survive. The only thing keeping me sane is knowing this won't last forever. If the grand ol' US of A will get it together and give Rob his Visa, I won't have to work so dang much and never see my family. Oh I could easily rant all of my frustrations!

Lets all just go back up and look at those happy and perfect baby pictures :-)

Liebster Award!

So, I am pretty stinkin stoked about this.

It's The Liebster Award. It's awarded to blogs with under 200 followers. And I have to give a huuuuuge thanks and special mention to Eliza over at Baby Bound for nominating me! I am seriously so thrilled, and shocked really!

So here are the rules:

Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you

Reveal your top 5 blog picks for this award and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog

Copy and paste the award on your blog

Have faith that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers

And so the five special people I would like to nominate are...drum roll please............

Blush and Blossom, Jubilee, Love on a Budget, Everyday Adventures, and The Fit Wife

Whenever I see a new blog from one of these women, I get really excited. They each have something very unique, captivating, fun, and inspiring to tell.

East Texas...and some Honesty

While out in east Texas yesterday Brittney and I had a great visit and lots of fun putting our babies together. Here they are 19 weeks (Joseph) and 7 weeks (Josiah). The picture below this, Josiah was only 2 weeks old. Look how much he's grown!! Then they both fell asleep at the same time, so we laid them in the crib together. Best buds already ;-)

This has been such a good week. Started out Monday I had a coffee date with Emmie. Praise God for such incredible friendships. Friendships of love, of honesty, of encouragement, of strength. So grateful. I am so glad I can be honest with her. After I left I prayed in my car on the drive home, and just allowed myself to be totally honest with God.

You know, it's silly that we think we can hide our emotions from God, but we do it. I've thought, maybe if I don't tell God how I really feel, it will all just go away. Uhh, hello! And so I just said it. I told God how I really felt about our situation, free of thinking I had to try and stay positive about anything. And you know what? God can take it. He can handle our hurt. In fact He wants it. He doesn't want us carrying these unbearably heavy burdens around on our shoulders. But until we stop pretending like everything will be okay, we're going to continue carrying them.

Through this, God was able to really speak to me, and show me a major source of my hurt and frustration. And I've experienced so much freedom since Monday! I told God I simply wanted Him to change my heart, nothing more...but out of His profound love and grace, He's done so much more.

I am feeling so blessed, so refreshed, and so encouraged.

Oh, and so ridiculously in love with my little boy.

Christmas Questionairre

I saw this on the lovely blog Matt and Kara Adopt and decided I wanted to do it as well.

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate? Hot chocolate alllll the way. Never liked that egg nog stuff.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Growing up, the ones from Santa were always unwrapped, and ones from mom and dad were wrapped. and because santa left them unwrapped I'd always sneak in the living room super early and check everything out, then put it back in its place so my parents wouldn't know I got up early and peeked :-)

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? In my parents house, the lights have always been colored. But now I prefer the white lights.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? No, but when I have a house to decorate, I think it sounds like a great idea!
5. When do you put your decorations up? Always the day after Thanksgiving
6. What is your favorite holiday dish? Sweet potato casserole
7. Favorite holiday memory as a child? My mom would always make a big pot of apple cider, usually on Christmas eve, and she added this spice sack to it that made it soooo delicious. I always looked forward to that.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? Can't remember how old I was, but I actually found out at Easter, because I discovered all the gifts the easter bunny normally left. so when mom confessed the easter bunny never left them, I asked if that meant santa never left the gifts either. two stones in one day. i was devastated.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Nope! Always Christmas day.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? As a kid it was always really random, with lots of fun little ornaments. Now that the kids are out of the house, the decor is much more refined. Rob and I have not had a chance to decorate a tree yet. Last year our place was too small, this year we have no money. Maybe third time is a charm?
11. Snow! Love it or dread it? Mixed relationship! Growing up in the south, it was always really exciting if it snowed, because it was rare. And it would last long enough to bring joy, then it would melt and we'd get on with life. Perfect. Then I lived in Canada last year, and there was snow on the ground for like 5 straight months. Yuck! I like it again now though, since I'm back in the south. Haha
12. Can you ice skate? Hahaha yeah right
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? As a kid, not really. But two years ago Rob got me this beautiful white gold and diamond necklace, and we were still only dating at the time. I was blown away by such a beautiful gift!
14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you? Remembering the real reason for the season. I know that's cliche, but it's easy to forget why the holiday even exists in the first place.
15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? Two of them! My mom makes these little peanut butter cup cookies, and puts a reeses peanut butter cup in the middle when it's almost done baking. Yum! And chocolate chip no bake cookies. Oh, I guess there's a third one...cherry fluff. Yeah, can't choose just one.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Rob and I don't really have any yet, but I was thinking about it earlier today, and I definitely want to start traditions especially now that we have a son in the picture.
17. What tops your tree? At my parents it was always an angel. I think they still have the same angel we've topped the tree with all my life!
18. Which do you prefer: giving or receiving? Um, who doesn't like receiving?! But I do very much enjoy watching someone open a gift that I've given them and seeing their reaction :-)

19. Candy canes: yuck or yum? Regular ol' candy canes...not a fan. But they have some pretty cool flavored ones out there now that aren't so bad.
20. Favorite Christmas movie? Uhhh...Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase. Haha
21. Saddest Christmas song? Grandma got run over by a reindeer! I've always thought, really?! That's so sad.
22. What is your favorite Christmas song? The First Noel, probably because I just like to sing it and it sounds really good. Ha. Or there's one by Joy Williams called Here With Us. Profound lyrics!

That was suuuuper fun. Now it's your turn :-)

Sweet Noises & Smiles

I had read a few times that once the little one arrives, I will have something to post about every day, because so much happens.

So true. But do I do it? Nope! And I apologize, but lemme explain.

Josiah has started making lots of adorable little noises. And he smiles...allll the time. He is the happiest most content little baby, ever. So I'm spending my days just gazing at his sweet face, making faces back at him, smiling with him. Even when I'm changing his diaper he's smiling up at me. This kid is HAPPY.

And in between all this gazing at my beautiful boy, I'm job searching.

And searching.

And sending out resumes.

And filling out questionnaires.

And calling employers.

And getting denied. Every. Single. Application.

And that is why I'm rarely in blog world anymore. I realized I'm definitely not being lazy, on the contrary I just don't have all the time I used to have. But I love blogging, I love writing, I love posting pictures, so I'm continually making an effort :-)

Life is full of emotion right now, that's for sure. Half the time I am just delighted and in happy little momma land over here, then the other half I'm feeling completely insignificant, drained, and tired of being denied jobs. I'm just trying to have faith that the reason I continually am being denied is because God has something unbelievably perfect in the works, and it's just not ready for me yet. I started searching on Craigslist for jobs yesterday and suddenly have 3 interviews lined up, plus an interview at Starbucks. Something's gotta give already!

Anyways, enough of that.

I've started running again. Started over two weeks ago, just trying to be consistent and build up endurance. Today I added a half mile to my run, and it felt great! Ready to start working my way up, and it's my goal to do the Oklahoma City Half Marathon on April 29, 2012. Mark my words, it will be done.

Tonight, I'm simply relaxing. Not going to worry about money, about the post pregnancy body, about a job. Just a glass of wine, sleeping baby, and a wonderful, supportive, dashing husband. With glasses raised, here's a toast to peace, favor, grace, and love abounding.

The First of the Month

I have a not so loving relationship with the first of the month anymore. It always means rent is due, which is a bit stressful these days. I've still not found work, which means still no income source. Sooooo for the first time ever we really didn't know how rent was going to get paid. But, I had peace about it. I just kept saying to myself that I am a child of God, He loves and cares deeply for His children, He will take care of us.

Friends, today is December 1st, and the rent WILL be paid. God provided. This is real life living in faith!

Next step? Faith that God will provide a job :-)