Post Wedding Blues? Part One

The past several days the sun has been shining, it's been warming up (the lake has finally completely thawed), and I feel like a whole new refreshed person. It's amazing that a little warmth and sunshine can completely boost your mood! It's got me to thinking a bit, and it's led to some interesting conversations between me and the Mr.

::warning - very real emotion ahead::

Just a few short weeks after our honeymoon, reality began to set in for me. I had permanently just moved to another country, I left everything familiar behind, traded warmth and sunshine for cold and snow. And rather than the blissful season of being a newlywed, I began to go through depression. It was an awful, unexplainable, and confusing time. So I got off birth control, I was convinced it was the source of my depression (and I still believe it was partly to blame), and within a few days I felt like myself again. But not for long.

At the end of December Rob and I flew to Georgia for my best friend's wedding. It was warm, we were with friends again, it was wonderful. After returning, depression began to hit me again. It's something I have to work through often. Many tears have been shed, many times I've been on my knees crying out to God, and there are many moments each day that I choose to say "Satan, you will not win today!"

So the spike in my mood these warm sunny days has definitely caused me to do some thinking. Would our situation have been different had we not been in podunk Lindsay? What if we had all these things figured out concerning the future before we got married, would I have gone through depression had we been in Texas right away? Part of me thinks I wouldn't have, and yet another part of me knows this is what God knew was best for us. These trials, the uncertainty, the difficulty, the lonliness, has brought us SO CLOSE to each other, and deepened our relationship with God in ways that the easy road could not have done.