It Seemed Good...

Acts 15:34 - "However, it seemed good to Silas to remain there."

This is a verse I have journaled about in previous years, and it's a lesson that's always stuck with me.

'Seemed' is a very particular word. It gives the notion of uncertainty; like, it could be a good idea or the right thing, but you haven't been given a definite answer. The word implies faith and taking a risk, praying and trusting God to be with you and honor a prayerful decision.

Rob and I prayed. We really sought God. We very much desired to be in His will and be where He wanted us. We weren't 100% positive, but it seemed as if Texas was the way to go. Things were lining up, a job came about, a place to live, a way to get here, we were able to pay for immigration. We knew we had prayed and sought God, so we stepped out in faith.

Silas also stepped out in faith. And because of his faith we see a deep and impactful friendship between him and Paul. And that relationship greatly impacted work for the Gospel.

We don't know much about the time in between the decision, and seeing the fruits of that decision, but I imagine there must have been difficulties. There must have been times that Silas questioned his decision, wondered if it was too rash or quick, and if God would really be with him and bless him.

There are definitely times I feel that way. Things in Texas have been so hard. I've wondered many times if we really prayed and sought God, or if our decision to move here was rash and quick. It's easy to question our decisions when we aren't seeing the fruit we hoped to see.

But I have to step back and remember - we fasted together, we prayed, we DID seek God's will We saw how things were pointing to Texas and we took a step of faith.

Yeah, things are pretty tough right now, but I believe God is with us. He is for us and not against us, and He WILL honor a prayerful decision where we trusted in Him.

Stay at Home Mom

Today I was reading through my journals from my intern and GI years at the Honor Academy, hoping for refreshment and a reminder of God's goodness.

You know, life was so simple back then. But back then there were days when it felt like the whole world was crashing down. Haha goodness. Really, there wasn't a whole lot of care in the world. Sure, I read about my struggles of "what am I supposed to do with my life?" "what is God's calling?" "should I be a house director/do ministry team or be a management associate/etc?"

Maybe one day I'll look back on these days now and laugh about how I thought the world was gonna come crashing down. But at the same time, I kind of hope not. I don't want financial obstacles like this, ever, in the future.

Anyways, I also read a lot about God's provision during those times. My intern year started right after my parent's car accident that left them both in wheelchairs and unable to work. I remember praying that God would supernaturally provide for my parents until they were able to work again. And in October of that year, my mom got word that the people in her company had decided to donate their leave time all to my mom so she'd be covered until she was able to come to work again at the end of January. Talk about HUGE provision.

If God could provide a miracle then, He can provide a miracle now too. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. God can provide a way for me to stay home with Josiah for 2 months.

That's really all I wanted to say. I'm standing in faith for big things. Will you stand in faith with me?

New Job, New Beginnings

Last week...

Due to some unfortunate circumstances, I knew the administrative job I'd held since March was about to crash through the roof.

Expect the unexpected, right?

This job is the reason we packed up and moved to Texas, it was the hope we held that everything would work out despite Rob not being able to work yet. It was a life change. And it's also the source of the insane spiritual journey I've been on since moving here. If you are close to me, you know the details.

All summer I've been trying to find another job, but as soon as the word "pregnant" hit the floor, not another thought was given to me. So you could understand my initial panic of the idea of having no other option but to get another job at 35 weeks pregnant, when I'll be leaving whoever hires me in just a few weeks. I thought, gee, life couldn't get any more impossible.

Then some people prayed. We prayed. And just 5 days later I was offered a job working the front desk at a hotel nearby.

I had this suspicion that it wouldn't be until God released me from this other job, that a new job would come up. I'm quite blown away, actually. I couldn't be more thankful that someone graciously gave me this opportunity knowing full well I'd be leaving again soon. This is God. And God is faithful, folks.

At the same time, please continue to pray for us. The thought of me having to return to work nearly right away after Josiah is born is absolutely killing me. I want nothing more than to be a stay at home momma. I still have hope that there is someone out there who would be willing to take Rob on and pay under the table, but if that's not the case, then pray that God would give me peace and strength to be able to do what needs to be done.

"For this slight and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."

-2 Corinthians 4:17-18

My Everything

Wow this song is like it was written just for me! It's by Matt Maher, called Jesus My Everything

Click HERE to listen to it!

I've been looking for a reason…
I've been longing for a purpose…
I'm losing all my meaning…
I've run out of excuses.

Lord, it's hard to know You.
I don't always see your plan
But holiness is calling me
so take me as I am.

Chorus:
You are my everything,
you are the song I sing;
I'll do anything for you
Teach me how to pray,
to live a life of grace;
I'll go anywhere with you
Jesus, be my everything.

Lord, I get so tired of the struggle within
I settle in complacency and I'm weighed down in my sin

So lead me past emotion,
'cause they changed with the wind
I want to be a true disciple
to daily choose Your hand.

I long for fulfillment in what I'm doing in life, and I don't think that's wrong by any means at all. But I'm seeing more and more how God is using this season to draw me near to Himself. In the past I've easily found fulfillment in my job and in the roles I was apart of at Teen Mania, and it simply is not the case right now. How long will I resist His leading into the sweetness of His presence?

Like I said on Friday, no matter how small what I'm doing seems right now, it has meaning when I'm doing it for the glory of God. Every little thing matters to Him. I must keep that in perspective, and in the meantime allow God to be my fulfillment, joy, strength, peace - my everything.

Dallas Farmers Market and Transit

Yesterday Rob and I NEEEEDED to get out of the apartment. We're here like 24/7 since I work from home. Plus, we want to take full advantage of the time we have left of it being just us. So Rob came up with the idea of going to the Dallas Farmer's Market downtown, and using the train system to get there. Brilliant, brilliant idea! Stress free ride to Dallas, and the cost we paid for the train we would have paid in parking downtown anyways. It was such a great time!

standing in front of the train...yeah it was a little windy. can you tell? ;-)

We rode through what seemed like different time zones of Dallas. It was poor and dilapidated on the north side, men and women wearing filthy and tattered clothes, then filled with high rise luxury apartments and people in business suits the further south you went. As we were walking we came across several homeless people. Men who looked lost and without hope, sitting on benches with a bag of belongings and the clothes on their back. Maybe life isn't so bad for us right now. Really puts it into perspective.

A woman walking past us on the street commented that I looked beautiful pregnant. And you can ask Rob, my face just lit up and I couldn't quit smiling. Seriously, if you come across a pregnant woman, take a second to tell her she looks beautiful! Such a simple gesture, but she probably needs to hear it!

Above we're standing in front of part of the market. I felt like we were in Mexico, going to get our food for the week. All the people were cutting up pieces of their fruit to have you try it and convince you theirs tasted the best. Needless to say, I got my fair share of peaches and mangoes handed to me. YUM!

Can't wait to take another train trip into Dallas :-)

Do Everything

Some aspects of life right now make me wonder if what I'm doing even matters. Some things feel so insignificant, and I just want what I'm doing to have purpose and meaning. What a perfect song! Thank you Steven Curtis Chapman for writing this. Every little thing matters. No matter how insignificant it seems to me, it's meant to bring glory to God. Check out the song HERE!

PS - I'm absolutely loving that the air conditioner has been off since Sunday. Every window in the apartment and the patio door has been open bringing in such a refreshing breeze. This is my favorite kind of weather! I think it's only like 87 outside right now. Makes me wanna sit outside in a hammock with a good book all day long :-)

A Nursery Project

I've been wanting to do some kind of cute thing for Josiah's name to decorate the nursery for a while. Yesterday, the inspiration finally came :-)

This is a wooden plaque that I painted with a mixture of gold, brown, and shimmery champagne to create a real pretty natural finish.

I painted the letters green and blue

Then added some fun little yellow dots and stripes

:-)

The final product! After the paint was dry, I used a super shiny glossy finish on all of it. Then after that dried I krazy glued the letters to the plaque. Quite happy how it turned out :-)