This post is for my own sake, writer's therapy I guess you could say. Sometimes writing is the best way to calm my heart and my thoughts.
There is a story from the Fort Worth area that came on as breaking news last night that my heart can't shake. As I listened to the story, I sat on the floor in my living room and wept. A young mom and her one year old child - a scenario so relatable. Her car was struck by another so forcefully, it propelled her car through a fence and into a pond. She was on the line with 911 while trying to escape from her sinking car, but was unable to get out. I'm in tears now just thinking about it.
I feel such intense heartache. Mostly as a mom, and the thought of being helplessly unable to save my child. Thoughts and emotions cascade into a wrestling match, trying to make sense of things. On one hand is fear, on another hand is faith in God, on the other hand, why does it have to be like this, the other hand, knowing it's a fallen world we live in. But still, tragedy will never make sense to me, even knowing what I know about God and life on earth.
What do you do when nothing makes sense?
I have faith that heaven is real, that I will one day be in a place that is more perfect and beautiful than our minds can fathom. A place where there is no more pain, no more suffering, that ones we love and have lost will grasp us in hugs so tight. That the present troubles on earth will long be forgotten. Those of us still here on earth, dealing with pain, trials, loss, and heartache, we will blink and this momentary affliction will be behind us. Right now it doesn't feel momentary, but in the big picture, it really is.
The big picture. Heaven. Eternity. Therein my hope lies. Life on earth may not make sense sometimes, but I'm choosing today to cling to the Hope of Jesus Christ.