The chances of you reading this are pretty slim, but it's on my heart anyways. There are things I want to say to you, that you probably wouldn't listen to in person.
As I've watched your life unfold the past several years, it's been racked with many tough blows. It's been pain, heartache, rejection, and more rejection. At the same time, you've also shown tremendous strength. You earned your associates degree while being a single mom to two kids (one of those a brand new baby). That's a really big deal, and everyone around you is so proud of you.
After all you've been through, I can imagine it's hard to trust anyone, that it's hard to let anyone love you. There's a measuring stick in place and each person must measure up or the walls come up. I can understand. You don't want to be hurt again, you want to protect yourself. But as someone on the outside, it hurts US when we miss the mark by a smidge and the walls come up against us. Truth is, however, that I am human. As much as I try I will make mistakes, I will still do any say hurtful things. I'm truly sorry for those times. But I hope you know that I would never, ever, purposely try to hurt you. My love for you is genuine, it's real, and it's forever. No matter what.
I wish I could tell you how different life would be if you would accept the love of a real, heavenly Father. It's hard to wrap your mind around that, because you never knew the love of your own earthly father. But still, I pray for you quite often that God's love would penetrate your heart. That you would experience the miracle of His grace. No matter what you've been through in life, I believe God can break past all of those barriers.
I wish I could tell you that there's hope. There's real hope. That your life doesn't have to continue going the way it's always gone. That passion and drive inside of you can really take you far, especially when you are walking in the fullness of all that God has for you.
I wish I could tell you that you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for. I wish I could tell you that you are beautiful, and you don't need to hide behind beautiful and expensive things for people to respect you. You're worth more than superficial things and empty promises.
I wish I could tell you how much your two little ones are so lucky you are their mother. You love them and care for them so much.
One day maybe I'll be able to say these things to you. One day when you'll hear me. They are left for now to this little space of mine online. I love you, and you are just on my heart today.