The Marathon and the Sprint

This is a blog about a journey. A journey called U.S. Immigration.

Can I just please share this little (huge) timeline of events, so you can understand why I am so elated right now?

February 4, 2011 - sent in Visa application, paid filing fee
March 11, 2011 - received confirmation that our application was received, list of instructions on initial paperwork to fill out
May 28, 2011 - paperwork received and now eligible to continue in the Visa process - time to establish connection with National Visa Center and give them a ton more of our money
June 2011 - received receipt of fees paid
June 21, 2011 - another email telling us about another fee to pay. Depressing, but it was the last fee. This totaled our fees to well over $1,000!
July, 2011 - received receipt of last payment, this officially confirmed our submission for a visa application. Yes, it took 6 months of paying fees just to confirm we were actually submitted a visa application!
August 2011 - received checklist of all paperwork needed to be submitted. Mind you, this was a monstrous list equaling a monstrous to-do list for us! Rob worked on most of it. Keep reading below :-)
August 2011 - first submitted Affidavit of Support, proving I was financially able to support Rob and not let him take any government money for support.
September 2011 - AOS denied - insufficient proof of income, signatures weren't original on the paperwork (huh?!)

Between Sept 2011 and Feb 2012, Rob sent for and waited on his birth certificate, Canadian background check results, and military records. Our governments do things in very timely manners, as you can see.

February 2012 - resubmitted AOS along with Rob's documents now that we had them all in hand. A few days later AOS denied - signatures weren't original.
March 2012 - AOS denied - signatures not original, marriage certificate not original, birth certificate not original. Resent them
March 27, 2012 - Everything denied again for same reasons. Contacted NVC, arranged everything to be sent to them a different way to prove everything was real.
April 2012 - Marriage cert. and birth cert. accepted, AOS denied - signatures not signed in blue or black ink. Seriously?! I used black ink! Resent.
April 20, 2012 - AOS denied - my income does not match that listed on the form. Oh yeah, guess I went through a job loss and a season of no job. Re-do forms.
May 7, 2012 - denied. Oops, forgot to tell us that now that were in a new tax season, need to completely re-do form, get 2011 tax returns from me and my parents because my income no longer supports Rob.
June 5, 2012 - called NVC to get an update, and our paperwork has all finally been accepted!! (oh yeah, they are quick to tell us our paperwork sucks, but not that it's all in good order)


There are many days that I wish I could step into another newlywed's shoes and feel what a "normal" life of being a newlywed is supposed to feel like. Not one that is bogged down by immigration paperwork and wondering if your husband is going to be denied a visa after all the hard work we put into this process. But yet, I don't wish this process on anyone. Anyone. Which is why Josiah will be strictly prohibited from marrying anyone from another country...for his sake. Or mine. Ha!


And now we just wait for Rob to be scheduled an interview with the US Consulate in Montreal. It's the sprint to the finish line!

Life Hurts

I've been absentee from the blog lately. For good reason. Insane busy-ness and just making my family a priority. I've also taken on photography and learning how to use my camera and software, so yes, busy as of late.

But I have something on my heart that I'm ready to share. And it's a lot. And it's heavy. And it's honest. But I know someone, somewhere out there will read it and they needed to hear it too.

I've experienced deep, deep hurt and rejection in the past year and half and I haven't known how to deal with it. On the outside I can keep it all together most of the time, so when I do lash out on occasion, I'm criticized and 'lovingly' rebuked. I don't blame anyone else for not taking the time to try and understand - how could they if I haven't been honest?

It really starts to get to you when you've applied for 100 jobs and have been rejected by every single one of them. Oh, except the one that was a tangled web of drama and they expected you to train yourself because everyone important left or got fired. When even restaurants choose some kid in high school over you, the word rejection begins to slowly tattoo itself onto your heart. I knew in July of 2011 that The Winn Group was starting to look shady. No paychecks were coming. That's when the job hunt began. At first I thought it was just because I was pregnant and I thought for sure once I had Josiah, finding a job would be a piece of cake. But as most of you know, the job rejections kept coming, one by one by 100.

It starts to get to you.

When you work part time on minimum wage serving some very wealthy people, bitterness can easily creep in. Add to this, all I've wanted is immigration to be done and my husband able to work so I can be home with Josiah. And that's just been another rejection, after rejection, after rejection on our paperwork...Hurt. Lots and lots of hurt. And there's been no one I've felt I can turn to, no one I felt could help me. All I've desperately wanted for the longest time is someone I could open up to. Someone who understands my pain. Someone who could lead me to the truth in a way that only someone who's "been there" can. People have come along who I know genuinely cared, but when all they can say is don't be bitter because that's bad, well, that doesn't help.

It's like I've been lying in a cactus bed in the desert and people have come along and told me I shouldn't lie there cause it'll leave scars. Maybe I was stuck and needed help getting out of the cactus bed.


Lately I've very much been looking to the Lord, crying out to Him from this place of hurting. I've got to look to the one who actually understands the pain. Which has still been hard when I've felt like God doesn't care all that much.

LIES I know. I don't need to be told that. But the hurt and sting of rejection runs deep.

At church this past weekend, the message was Life Hurts. As I listened, I began to feel relief. Someone was finally telling me that just because I was a Christian, doesn't mean I was excluded from experiencing deep hurts. But now, where do I go from here? Even this week I've experienced rejection - from jobs, to family, and friends too. But it's time to respond differently.

Jesus Christ experienced the ultimate rejection so that I wouldn't have to. No matter what happens on this earth, I will never, ever, ever face God's rejection. I am His very own child, and His LOVE will NEVER fail me. God chose me.

"We win when our heart stays alive in the midst of Satan's greatest weapons."


I want my heart to stay alive. And when this desert season is behind us and a thing of the past, I thank God that He is going to use me in a powerful way.

I'm still in the middle of this battle.
I'm still dealing with pain.
But I'm going to get through this and I'm going to be a face and a voice to those in the future who have no one to talk to and no one who understands.

Satan isn't going to win this one.

Life's Important Things

Obviously...I have not blogged in over a month. And I'm really okay with that. April was absolutely the craziest month OF MY LIFE and I hardly even had a chance to read a single blog I follow, much less post something.

So what's happened in the past month?

Big stuff, that's what.

Like completing my goal of running a half marathon! Hardest run of my life, but so, so, so worth it crossing that finish line!

I was given a blessing, which I thought was a curse, but then ended up being used by God to speak to me BIG dreams and plans that He was ready to set in motion. Vague, I know, but it's all about photography. It's been a dream of mine for a very long time, something I couldn't stop thinking about. One day earlier this month God showed me so clearly that now was the time. And Rob 100% agreed, so we did some research, talked to some people, and bought what we needed to get started.

I am SO excited. I know nothing, except that I have an eye for a good shot. But God is ready to use me right where I'm at. And it helps that I have the cutest baby on the planet to practice with :-)

April was certainly an insane month. But it turned out to be quite a month of God's favor and blessing.

And now, I shall get back to enjoying my quiet evening :-)

Reminding Myself

I think I forget sometimes that I'm only 22 years old. Living in north Dallas, an area filled with successful and wealthy people, it's easy to forget. Even at church we are surrounded by wealth and success. It makes it really difficult to accept our situation sometimes. Living in east Texas, and then living in Canada, these two things didn't matter much at all, really, to anyone. East Texas is full of ministries, people living very humbly. Lindsay Ontario was a farming community. In those places, we drove a really nice car, we dressed really well, etc. We didn't think about it though. But now that we are here in Dallas, it's easy to get caught up in those things. No longer do we have one of the nicer cars. In fact, when it's normal to see a Lamborghini in the parking lot of they gym, and brand new BMW's and Lexus's and Cadillacs,  our car doesn't amount to much.

Why do we put so much value on such trivial, temporary things? Why does it seem that around here you NEED to have those things? I'm not saying all this to judge anyone, in fact it's more like exposing the sin of greed in my own heart. A lot of these people are the most generous, kind, life-giving, selfless, lovers of God I've ever met. Many of them have helped us out in the last few months, and I'm extremely grateful for them. They are taking what God has blessed them with to bless others.

Maybe one day we'll have that opportunity to bless others. Even though we are in the same 'category' as many of these people - married with child(ren), we are still only 22 and 23. How many people our age own a house, two nice cars, nice furniture, etc? If we never have more than the money we need to pay each bill in our bank account, I pray that my heart would be content. If we do have more than enough, may we never be stingy or selfish with it. I pray that my heart would be full of joy simply in being healthy, having a husband who loves me, and a beautiful and healthy baby boy. May my heart find contentment to be in communion with my good, kind, grace-filled Father. And I pray the same for you as well.

Happy Sunday, enjoy a day of rest and lovely weather :-)

The Way A Big Ship Turns

Little by little, but eventually, it does turn. Not all at once, but you start to notice it, and eventually, that big ship will be turned 180 degrees from what it was before.

Remember my post about believing God was about to 180 our situation? If not, then you must read it here to understand the full impact of this post.

The beginning of this turn happened!

As you all know, I've been looking for a very long time for a second job. And I've been very specific in my prayers. I wanted to be able to stay with Starbucks, I wanted part time, I wanted/needed x amount of money, and I wanted to be home with my family in the evenings. I was believing God to answer every bit of that.

And on Friday, I was OFFERED A JOB!! It fits every criteria I prayed for, except the money. God gave us more :-) I'll be a part time bank teller with Bank of America. Seriously, we are blown away, not only in God's blessing, but in the way He chose to do it all.

The big ship is turning, and I'll have much more to say later. Until then, who wants to go shopping with me to update my wardrobe?!

180 Dollars

God did something profound in our lives this past week. Profound, and exciting!

Some dear friends of ours, out of the blue, sent us a card in the mail this past week saying that we'd been on their hearts, and included a check for us to use as we needed. First off, we are always blessed by people's generosity, especially when we see others make real sacrifices. And this definitely came at another time of need for us.

But then, on Friday, we went out to Teen Mania for alumni reunion. During the session, Dave was calling people to the front for prayer on different topics, and we went down to be prayed for concerning our job situation. I saw an older man an beelined for him, simply because I desired "older wisdom" to pray over us, ya know? When he prayed, he spoke the word favor over and over, which is exactly the word we needed, because I've not felt God's favor on us in the least bit job wise.

Fast forward, as this man was leaving later, he stopped and shook Rob's hand and I could see that he slipped him something. We looked later, and he had given Rob cash. I couldn't believe that this total stranger felt inclined to do that!

But it wasn't until driving home that it hit me, the significane in the amount of money we had been given this week. It totalled up to $180.

I started thinking about a 180 degree change, and what that means. A 180 degree change takes you in the complete opposite direction of where you've been going.

For months now, we've been on a path of stress, joblessness, financial struggle, emotional struggle, lack of faith, you name it! And this gift we've been given this past week, I completely believe is symbolically God's way of saying He is about to completely change our path! No more joblessness, no more financial struggle and the stress it brings. He is about to do a 180!

Thank you God for using our lives, using our pain, to bring hope and joy to others in need. Thank you for your Word, and for the great things you have ahead! Be encouraged friends, oh be encouraged!

When at Teen Mania

During worship there will always, no matter what be that person who:
Lays on the floor
Dances in the back
Stands against a wall
Sings way too loud and doesn't sing very well

Each person's uniqueness, but it's beautiful and like nowhere else. Definitely warmed my heart :-)

Got to be a part of Honor Academy worship and be refreshed by a message from Dave. I am so, so, so thankful for the HA. I needed it. Sometimes we, as former interns, need certain messages that people who haven't been through the internship can't really understand or relate to. And even though I've hardly slept and now I'm about to leave for work, it was worth it.

We were also blessed in a unique way which I will share about at a later time :-)

Oh, and not to mention every corner we turned we heard "Oooooh a baby!!"

Yeah, every intern loves a baby :-)